Reflection

Okay so it's been quite some time since I last blog, to be frank I'm quite surprise I still remember the password and email. So it's almost two years since I last update so what happened during this time. Any guesses? Haha working is the answer. Well from my last post I mentioned that I think I'm not ready to work yet but still life's gonna keep going so I started working two months later after the last post, so that's about 1 and a half year of adult working life. 

Honestly speaking working does not actually sucks at first, I'm quite excited to learn all the new things that are being taught to me and adapting myself to the new working environment and the job offer mentioned that I could change to a new department after two years. So I would say things are pretty good, until there's one day that I feel like I have no motivation to come to work... That's when the problem starts to kick in, I know that I was good at my job doing all the process improvements n stuff but is still the same old routine stuff that I need to do everyday plus since I have moved role it only takes approx 3 hrs a day to complete my work and I got nothing to do for the rest of the 5 hrs. Seriously all these repetitive work and boredom is killing me, I can feel that I don't have any passion for the work that I'm doing and just passing time. Well most people might think that getting paid without doing anything is great especially my salary package is actually not bad. But why do I feel the emptiness inside??

I guess at some point salary doesn't really matter if something happened. I sort of feel like I'm being cheated by my boss. First about the lower salary group thing that she couldn't do anything about it, then suddenly she could promote me so easily, then she go and add another two years to the window that bonds me with the team. All these thing that happened just gave me some feeling that she somehow is using my trust for her against me. Anyways that's from my point of view, but I have decided something at my end. There's no point to continue to work for a job that I have no passion on, chasing perfection that is hardly exist and the thing that I couldn't obtain while hoping that she will help me to archive it. I've gotten what I planned to take from the company as what I have planned in the beginning so I guess it is time for me to take another step in my life. 

I do not wish to feel any regret when I look back when I'm old, I'm afraid that if I don't take the step now; I do not have the courage to do it later on because I have gotten too comfortable with the current lifestyle. I don't want to be some people there who would just chill in the office everyday and wait for the paycheck to come in. For my dream to open a coffee house in less than 10yrs time, I believe I need to do more to get the capital. 

That's it. What a nice way to express and record down my feeling, let's hope the old me will appreciate this. 

Ciaoz.